Only a few years ago I started my painting journey. Obviously, it was of mind for many, many years prior to making the first frame to stretch my first canvas on. I was never apprehensive nor anxious to dabble in paint. I felt as if somehow I knew what I was doing or about to do. I found that by adding common sense with the little I had researched reigned supreme in the beginning process. Even though the making of frames or working with natural canvas or any other surfaces wasn’t something I did before. Still, I did not find it daunting nor alien. I am sure this was not the case for everyone however, my “dabbling with paint” skills were surely not such a breeze and I am still learning to best dabble with it today.
I have consciously tried not to study too much by way of techniques and as far as colours go, I have been diagnosed as partially color blind, (whatever that is) so, creating art became more than only using what I learnt but more of learning as I went along and to this day that is one of the fundamental disciplines I use to create my expressions. I feel practicing in this way brings into existence a unique permanency and I am still practicing which have resulted in a few extraordinary manifestations.
What I never expected was choosing to like some pieces more than others and developing a profound attachment to an object I found had little to no value as a creative piece. Some may beg to differ and that’s ok, but I found this to be a problem as it was with great difficulty having to decide what pieces to sell and what pieces to keep. This of course took too much time andI managed to turn down sales on this basis which begged a lot of questions. What was I painting for? Before then, I knew I wanted to paint because I knew I was capable but now there was a problem! Decisions, decisions.
Before long I had a pile of paintings to keep and a pile of paintings to sell but the pile to keep was what I considered to be my best ones and the others were well, ones I didn’t care for as much so in my mind they were good enough to sell however, I realized that if I was going to carry on in this way then no-one would get the best of me or at least the best creative me so it was such a selfish attribute that developed quickly. I feel creative attachments are common especially where artists are concerned. I often hear statements such as: “They are my babies, I love them like my children and so on.” I started to feel a sense of attachment to these art pieces that were mere expressions at the time of painting an act that aided my being why suddenly I became a favouritist? I couldn’t carry on this way so I stopped for many months to calculate a different approach and now the journey of dabbling with paint is more of a therapeutic one, a healing, a true journey with a retuned vigor. I realized I was attached to the creative outcome and not the creative process. Now I find in this way an grerat inspiration, one that aids my being not one that contradicts and confuses but a feeling that humbles and pleases with a certain charm. In turn I too am able to please others with a creative outcome that I no longer find creatively attached to as it was the journey, the making of that is the real magic.