Only a few years ago I started my painting journey. Obviously, it was of mind for many many years prior to making the first frame to stretch my first canvas on. I was never apprehensive nor anxious to dabble in paint. I felt as if I somehow knew what I was doing or about to do. You can say research definitely boosts confidence or “true-fidence” as I love to call it so, I found that by adding common sense with what I had researched reigned supreme in the beginning process. Even though the making of frames or working with natural canvas or any other surfaces wasn’t something I did before still, I did not find it daunting nor alien. I am sure this was not the case for everyone however, my “dabbling with paint” skills were surely not such a breeze and I am still learning to best dabble with it today.
I have consciously tried not to study too much by way of techniques and as far as colors go, I have been diagnosed as partially color blind, (whatever that is) so, creating art became more than using what I learnt but more of learning as I went along and to this day that has been one of the fundamental disciplines I use to create my expressions. I feel practice makes permanent and so, I am still practicing as far as colors and techniques go and now having a few years under my belt I have results as expected.
What I never expected was choosing to like some pieces more than others and developing a profound attachment to an object I found had little to no value as a creative piece. Some may beg to differ and that’s ok, but I found this to be a problem as I was now having to decide what pieces to sell and what pieces to keep. This of course took too much time and I even managed to turn down sales on this basis which begged a lot of questions. What was I painting for? before then all I knew was that I wanted to paint because I knew I was capable but now there was a problem! Decisions, decisions.
Before long I had a pile of paintings to keep and a pile of paintings to sell but the pile to keep was what I considered to be my best ones and the others were well, ones I didn’t care for as much so they were good enough to sell however, I realized that if I was going to carry on in this way then no-one would get the best of me or at least the best creative me so it was such a selfish attribute I created within of which I am sure many creatives can relate. I believe creative attachment is common especially where artists are concerned, we here statements such as “they are my babies and I love them like my children and so on. I started to feel a sense of attachment to these art pieces that were mere expressions at the time of painting an act that aided my being why suddenly I became a favouritist? I couldn’t carry on this way so I stopped for many months to calculate a different approach and now the journey of dabbling with paint is more of a therapeutic one, a healing, a true journey and now with a retuned vigor for some time now I have been attached to the creative process and not the creative outcome. This I always find to be awe-inspiring and one that aids my being not one that contradicts and a feeling that pleases so in turn I too am able to please others with a creative outcome that I no longer find creatively attached to as it was the journey, the making of that is the real magic.